While the holidays can be a joyful time, they can also bring stress and depression for many individuals as they balance work, family, and personal responsibilities.

“I’ve been a social worker for a long time,” said Navy Cmdr. Sheila Houghton-Antonucci, Deputy for the Directorate for Behavioral Health at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center.

“During the holidays people put a lot of stress on themselves making sure everything is perfect and everyone is happy. We need to take care of ourselves and set boundaries in preparing for the holidays; each person sees what works for them,” she said.

Ways to reduce stress include exercising, building time into your schedule to read and breathe, and learning to say “no.” Houghton-Antonucci added, “We feel guilty when we say ‘no’ to people, but you can say ‘no’ gracefully and respectfully. It’s a way of respecting ourselves.”

“Growing up, my mom was a crazy person,” laughed Houghton-Antonucci. “Even my mom laughs about it. I put too many expectations on myself as well.”

Houghton-Antonucci suggests that instead of over-extending oneself, practice what works for you, such as mindfulness and yoga, “something to help you to relax. It doesn’t have to be long, five or 10 minutes, depending on how you schedule time into your day. Also, scents and smells can be calming and relaxing, such as fresh-baked cookies or scented candles. And talking to a friend or family member who is supportive.”

Finances tend to be a big contributor to holiday headaches. Houghton-Antonucci emphasized how people need to set budget boundaries. “Don’t overcommit. Buying an expensive gift is going to cause more stress later. Set realistic financial expectations about spending. Stay within a budget that is comfortable, so you aren’t overwhelmed.”

“I would buy my niece all these fancy gifts but then would think, how long is she going to wear that outfit if she just outgrows it?” she said.

The most important part of the holidays is spending time with loved ones. “Go to a movie. One-on-one time can be more important than a physical gift, and discounted events are fine,” Houghton-Antonucci emphasized.

Walter Reed is here to help you and your family with holiday stress and to help staff members with enhancing their resiliency at any time with advice from its Resiliency Program staff at (301) 319-2865. Tips for stress-reducing, self-care activities is also available https://wellnessatnih.ors.od.nih.gov/Documents/holiday-resilience-guide.pdf.